Never again...

I'm was drunk. I could barely look at his face, because I didn't want to. He was nice enough I suppose, but not what I really wanted, just a sad substitute for the night. His words to me were stupid and selfish. My motives for being there were like his words to me...pathetic. I just wanted to get what I came for and go home to my own bed, alone, to pass out. I needed sleep. What the fuck was I thinking?!? He felt familiar to me, like he did so many years before, but different at the same time. I guess time does change people. He tried so hard, but he couldn't even get a drop out of me, I just wasn't there. I closed my eyes, picturing other people that I would rather have wanted to be with, but to no avail. He kept saying those words to me, over and over. I just wanted him to shut up. (Make some noises, but no words please). I did the only thing that I could to get it over with, I faked it!...arhhh. He came and I left. He had no clue...sad.

just observations/opinions

Rain drops fall so slowly in the dark
Blood feels as hot as its color
Sweat makes the skin glisten
Rough textures are exciting
Smooth surfaces are cold
Hair looks better when its dirty
Pineapples make cum taste sweeter
Paper cuts are more painful than a knife
Lemons sting and burn
Whispers are sexy
Lies suck, the truth hurts...if you let it
Music will put a smile on your face no matter what mood you are in
Black is evil, White is pure...not true in my opinion
Dreams are messages from the unconscious mind
Sex and chocolate make your endorphins dance
Zippers have YKK embedded on them
Charlie Brown is an old man in a little boy's body
Loving someone is easy
Loving them unconditionally is hard
Water dries out wood...but
Trees need water to survive
People look skinnier in person
Writing is therapeutic....:)

Valentine's day

I had a wonderful Valentine's day date a few years ago, I wrote this about it...

You greet me with a smile and a kiss on the cheek
There goes my heart again, melting so deep
You press your face against mine, tell me how much you miss me
I love the way your skin feels pressed against mine
Can't wait for you to be inside
You surprise me with a key to "our place"...
At last, we are alone, face to face
Tell me your secrets, wants, and desires
I can do anything you want me to
If only for a few hours
I love how you taste as I take you in
I look into your eyes as your mouth opens
You look so happy, so content
At last my love, it's me again
The woman that makes you feel like a man
or the little boy that likes to pretend
I'll play along, I like this game
"You've been a bad boy"...shame, shame, shame
Lets play another of lovers in bed
Slow and deep at first, then rough and hard towards the end
I wish I could spend more time with you...
My lover, my friend

young men/older women

I was definetly thinking of the young men that I have had the pleasure of being with when I wrote this....

YOUR A LIAR!
Damn it, I'm still on fire!
That beautiful face, that certain smile
What's wrong with me
I fall for it every time
Why can't I just say NO and walk away
You put your hand on my face, then kiss my mouth
I give in so easily
"I'm stronger than that"!
So I tell myself...but there you are again
With that sweet grin
What is it about younger men and their attraction to older women?
Is it how they look, feel, or fuck
Maybe the confidence in not asking for much
NO committments? that's ok...
A relationship? no way!...
Lets play a game, lets pretend
Say you love me and I will do the same
Lovers for the night...or maybe a weekend?

my thoughts

There are things about me that you will never know
Things that I will never show
Secret thoughts that I have buried deep in my soul
Only to be revealed to myself and no one else
I know that I am not the only one to feel like this
Call it what you wish
Just be careful who you confide in
No one knows for sure what the other person is thinking
Perhaps the same thoughts that you have....